Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens :: essays research papers

Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens "My principle object in this story was, to display in an assortment of viewpoints the commonest of the considerable number of indecencies: to show how Selfishness spreads itself; and to what a bleak mammoth it might develop, from little beginnings"- Charles Dickens about the reason for his novel: Martin Chuzzlewit (130)"Because the narrow minded man sees no normal intrigue or security among himself and the remainder of his reality he is liberated from moral contrition, allowed to build a bogus self, cover, rã'le, or persona, and making careful effort to shield his genuine self from the infringements of an antagonistic world." - Joseph Gold (131)"Any sort of creative mind isolated from its material or radiation turns into a Specter of Selfhood"- Blake (134) 12/20/96Selfishness Versus Goodness and Hypocrisy Versus CandorIn his book, Joseph Gold gives us an overview on how self-centeredness encapsulates itself all through Martin Chu zzlewit. He examinations likely images in the book, which gave me a greater amount of an understanding and another point of view that helped me see the fundamental characters and their change in an alternate setting. Narrow-mindedness and bad faith mark their casualties with bogus shells and mutilated characters and persuade in their predominance over humankind. This renders them unequipped for encountering anything genuine and leave them mishandling after bogus realities, while exploiting the unadulterated on a basic level. This is by all accounts the substance of what Gold needs to speak with his analysis.Pecksniff is the wolf in sheep's clothing who avoids nobody with regards to him making a benefit. Oblivious to his powerlessness to self-reflect or maybe glad for his commended ethicalness, Pecksniff is the embodiment of honesty, as Gold clarifies; he is in the book to show the extraordinary and explains America’s job as a "national Pecksniff". Through hi m do Thomas Pinch and Martin Chuzzlewit the Elder at long last make them fully aware of their own lesser indecencies; Pinch’s naã ¯ve conduct changes after went up against with the genuine, or should I say bogus shell of, Pecksniff, while Chuzzlewit Sr. sees portions of himself in Pecksniff and is simultaneously helped to remember genuine uprightness, genuineness and human association through Thomas Pinch. Gold goes completely into an examination of the worldview among Jonas and the Book of Jonah, the two characters escaping from their own selves; it isn’t until they acknowledge the rib, as Sairey Gamp puts it, implying Jonah’s come back to God in the whale’s stomach, that they can arrive at self-satisfaction.

Nike Company Patent for Self

Presentation The investigation includes the patent quest for another item. I have picked Nike self-binding shoes as the subject of study. The explanation for the decision of this item is, such a kind of shoe isn't accessible in the market. It is additionally conceivable that an item like it isn't probably going to come soon. Nike is taking a shot at it and has nearly concluded the innovation that incorporates programmed lower leg cinching.Advertising We will compose a custom exposition test on Nike Company Patent for Self-binding Shoes explicitly for you for just $16.05 $11/page Learn More Patent is the restrictive right picked up by a business firm on a specific item which empowers it to utilize, produce and market the item. No other firm is qualified for produce it in a similar structure or market it. â€Å"A patent is a type of scholarly rights assurance that empowers designers to keep others from utilizing their thoughts. Licenses can be significant, both for the individual crea tor whose rights are secured and for the economy† (The Importance of Patents standard. 1). Patent laws can ensure that nobody is skilled to get uncalled for bit of leeway of the work and contemplations of different creators. There are three types of licenses. They are Utility, Design and Plant licenses. Utility Patent: It might be gotten by any business person who creates a novel and valuable procedure, instrument, article of produce, or sythesis of material, or any imaginative and helpful improvement thereof. Configuration Patent: It might be compensated to any business visionary who creates a novel, one of a kind, and exceptional structure for the item. Plant Patent: It might be given to any business visionary who creates and abiogenetically duplicates any divergent and novel assortment of plant. The purposes behind patent pursuit are incorporates Determining whether one can get a patent or if ones innovation has just been licensed. Getting the thought regarding how an appli cation for patent is organized so as to help in the readiness of the item. Looking for information about a spearheading field. Realizing the economic situations and the association of the contenders. Distinguishing the innovation required and utilized by the contenders. The picture of Nike self-binding shoes. (Supplement 1) Process of for Obtaining an Utility Patent (Appendix 2) The Nike Company has recorded a patent for Self-binding Shoes that look like the Sneakers from ‘back to the Future 2,’ and Reebok shoes too. In spite of the fact that the time plan for the advertising of the shoes is concluded, the patent shoes are as yet chipping away at the innovation. â€Å"EFS-Web is the United States Patent and Trademark Office’s (USPTO’s) Web-based patent application and record accommodation arrangement. Utilizing EFS-Web, anybody with a Web-empowered PC can record patent applications and archives without downloading exceptional programming or changing repor t readiness instruments and processes† (About EFS-Web standard. 1). At the point when the client slips a switch, the shoe fixes the bands. The switch enacts an engine that unrolls a spool of wire fixed in the shoe.Advertising Looking for article on business financial aspects? How about we check whether we can support you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More As soon as the spool reels in the wire, the specific shoe become fixes along the pivot upheld by different bars. The shoes are certainly perfect for kids, genuinely tested individuals and matured ones also. A glance at the writing of the patent gives a general diagram of the different innovation and thinking behind the each type’s footwear. As the graph displays (Appendix 3), a weight sensor actuates an engine in the footwear, which cause fixes and close of the specific kinds of shoes. Client of this specific shoe additionally shouldn’t be anticipating a lightweight sprinter. The shoe houses a drivesh aft and an engine in the soles. So the patent proceeds. â€Å"The Patent Application Information Retrieval (PAIR) framework gives IP clients a protected, basic, and secure approach to recover and download data in regards to patent application status. There are two PAIR applications, Public PAIR and Private PAIR. Open PAIR gives access to gave licenses and distributed applications. Private PAIR gives secure ongoing access to pending application status and history utilizing advanced certificates† (Check the Filling Status of Your Patent Application standard. 1). At the point when Nike gets the licenses, no other organization can utilize a similar innovation. The patent right restricts them from doing as such. Further, spending parcel of money on considering the innovation and afterward executing the equivalent suspends normal organizations to enter in this specific model field and standard organizations like Reebok will not harm their name by emulating the model. So as to compr ehend these market powers, flexibly and request alludes to the gracefully and prerequisite of merchandise and ventures in the commercial center. This is a monetary technique principally dependent on utility, cost, and amount of the item. This strategy has been regarded as the foundation of market budgetary framework. (Reference section 4). Appendixes Appendix 1 The picture of Nike self-binding shoesAdvertising We will compose a custom paper test on Nike Company Patent for Self-binding Shoes explicitly for you for just $16.05 $11/page Learn More (Self-Lacing Shoes). Supplement 2 Process for Obtaining an Utility Patent Text Version: (Process for Obtaining an Utility Patent). Index 3 Specification figure of Nike self-binding shoesAdvertising Searching for exposition on business financial aspects? How about we check whether we can support you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Find out More (Greenfield). Supplement 3 Supply and Demand Curve: (Demand and Supply Diagrams of Nike Shoes). Works Cited About EFS-Web. The United States Patent and Trademark Office. 2011. Web. Check the Filling Status of Your Patent Application. The United States Patent and Trademark Office. 2011. Web. Greenfield, Rebecca. Advanced Marty McFly Nike Self-Lacing Kicks Work Pretty Simply. Atlantic Wire. 2011. Web. Nike’s Compaign Tells Us the Air Mag Self-Lacing Shoes are Coming. Technobaboy. 2011. Web. Procedure for Obtaining an Utility Patent. The United States Patent and Trademark Office. 2011. Web. The Importance of Patents. Fedcirc. US Patent Law Information. 2009. Web. This paper on Nike Company Patent for Self-binding Shoes was composed and put together by client Xavi A. to help you with your own examinations. You are allowed to utilize it for research and reference purposes so as to compose your own paper; notwithstanding, you should refer to it likewise. You can give your paper here.

25 Funn? W??? to Say No (That Are Effective and Respectful)

25 Funn? W??? to Say No (That Are Effective and Respectful) Lif? is r??ll? ???l. W? g? ?ut ?f ?ur w??? t? h?l? others, ??m?tim??, ??m?l?t? ?tr?ng?r?.W? do things f?r others th?t we r??ll? d?n’t w?nt t?.Wh??Ju?t cause w? are nice!“H?? John, could you help m? watch my d?g!”(Th?t w??n’t r??ll? a ?u??ti?n, more lik? J?hn watch m? dog). John hates dogs but b???u?? h?’? r??ll? a ni?? guy, ?nd she’s a really pretty l?d?, John ???? “Sur?”, wh?n wh?t h? r??ll? wanted t? ??? w?? “h?ll no”.W? ?r? in tim?? th?t ?r? b?th blessed and ?ur??d with zilli?n? ?f invit?ti?n? ?nd r??u??t? from friends, family ?nd ?v?n ?tr?ng?r?.H?r? are ??m? other ?x?m?l??: C?n ??u m??t m? for ??ff?? t? h?l? me with my b??k proposal? Will ??u bring a snack t? th? 8th grade ??rt? ?n December 19th? Are you ??ming t? our h?u??w?rming ??rt?? C?n ??u h?l? with m? ??n’? ??ll?g? ???li??ti?n?? D? ??u w?nt to take the kid? t? ??? “Th? Nutcracker” thi? ???r?As mu?h ?? ??u w?uld lik? t? d? ?ll ?f these thing?, you r??ll? ??n’t.When one takes ?n everything th?t ?? m?? his ?r h?r w??, you find th?t ??u start ?t??ing u? late in ?rd?r t? g?t ?v?r?thing done.Th?t might b? good f?r them, but d?finit?l? n?t g??d f?r you and your health.S? Wh? Do W? S?? Y?? So Oft?n When What We R??ll? W?nt T? ??? I? N??P?rt ?f it is that w? ?r? programmed t?. It g??? b??k to our ?hildh??d. Wh?n Mama asked us to d? something, w? were t?ught to ??? ???.L?t?r, our fri?nd? ??k?d us to j?in them, ?nd if ??u w?nt?d t? be lik?d in f?urth gr?d?, you said “?ur?” and r?n t? play ?n th? m?nk?? b?r? with the kids wh? invit?d you.F??t-f?rw?rd fift??n ???r?, and we’re ???ing ??? t? every r??u??t ?t ?ur n?w j?b b???u?? w? w?nt to b? a t??m player, ?ttr??t th? attention of th? boss, ?nd expand our ?kill ??t.S??i?ll?, w? ??? yes b???u?? we d?n’t want t? let people d?wn and ??m?tim?? b???u?? w? feel tr????d. We f??l b?d th?t w?’r? not h?l?ing wh?n P?tt? th? PTA N?zi ???ur?? u? everyone ?l?? i? ?it?hing in th?ir time, m?n??, t?l?nt?, l?b?ur, ?r wh?t?v?r th? ???? m?? b?.We ? l?? ??? ??? b???u?? it’? ???i?r than ???ing n?, and w?’d rather d??l with ?ur n?g?tiv? feelings th?n ?th?r people’s nagging ??mm?nt?, judging ?t?r??, and ????ibl? gossip if w? ??? n? t? th?ir request.S?, are w? d??m?d t? a lif? as ??? m?n or women? I? th?r? a way w? ??n nicely ??? n? with?ut f??ling guilt? ?r g?ining the r??ut?ti?n of “grum?? G?rtrud?” ?r “n?-h?l? Tom”?THR?? W??? TO S?? N? NICELY WITH?UT FEELING GUILT?! Sin?? ???ing No t? ?th?r? i? m??tl? diffi?ult b???u?? of th? guilt th?t ??m?? with it, h?r? ?r? a few w??? to ??? no, whilst m?king sure ??u are n?t f??ling guilt? ?b?ut th? NO ?n?w?r ??u ju?t gave.On? ?ui?k ?x?m?l?, im?gin? ??ur best fri?nd i? in th? h???it?l, ?nd ??u want t? g? vi?it h?r and P?tt? ??ur n?ighb?ur ??k? ??u t? w?t?h h?r d?g for a whil?, ?? ?h? could t?k? a well deserved nap.I don’t think saying NO in thi? situation w?uld ??m? with any f?rm of guilt.In fact, it ?h?uld ??m? with ??m? ?ng?r ?nd ?r?b?bl?, P?tt? w?uld b? the ?n? f??ling gui lty for ?v?n ??king.I. B? Tru? t? Y?ur??lf, Y?ur C?nvi?ti?n?, and Y?ur Priorities. It Elimin?t?? th? GuiltFirst, let’s d??l with the whole guilt thing. We feel guilt? ???ing n? when we d?n’t h?v? a firm gr??? ?n ?ur ?ri?riti?? ?nd ??nvi?ti?n?.Ar? ??u ??mmitt?d to ???nding ?v?ning? with ??ur f?mil??Th?n ??u need to say no wh?n ??k?d t? j?in the ??mmitt?? th?t m??t? ?v?r? Thur?d?? ?v?ning â€" ?????i?ll? ?in?? ??u’r? already g?n? Tuesday ?v?ning? for something ?l??, ?nd ??u ?ft?n h?v? to w?rk l?t? on M?nd???.Ar? you committed t? writing down the three things ??u n??d to do today so th?t ?t th? ?nd ?f th? day you ??n l??k b??k and kn?w that “I ????m?li?h?d wh?t I n??d?d to do”?Then ??u really can’t babysit littl? Timmy ?nd S?ll? even th?ugh th?ir m?m i? in a bind.If you d?, you’ve n?t kept ??ur ?r?mi?? t? yourself. And k???ing promises to yourself i? ??m?thing ??u n??d t? d?. It’? u?u?ll? as im??rt?nt as k???ing th? ?n?? w? make to ?th?r?.Are ??u committed to ??ur n?w ?x ?r?i?? ?nd diet plan?Th?n you n??d t? say n? t? going out with fri?nd? after work b???u?? ??u w?n’t make it t? th? g?m that night.Also, unl??? ??u h?v? the f?rtitud? of a N?v? S??l, ??u’r? going t? eat ??m?thing ??u ?h?uldn’t, or ??u’r? g?ing to sit there f??ling miserable drinking your w?t?r with lime whil? everyone else i? mun?hing on a feast of tapas d?light?.Plus, your ??rt ?f th? tab is g?ing t? b? $30 ?r m?r?, ?nd that doesn’t line u? at ?ll with your goal ?f n?t spending ?? much money on r??t?ur?nt f??d thi? ???r.Wh?n we und?r?t?nd that saying ??? m??n? w? would be ?t?nding on ?l?titud??, but ???ing n? means w?’r? ?t??ing tru? to our priorities ?nd ??nvi?ti?n?, n? b???m?? a lot ???i?r to say, and guilt g??? ?ut the wind?w b???u?? w? r??liz? it’s th? right decision.A? ??m??n? ?n?? ??id, “If ??u’r? ?n g??d t?rm? with yourself, ??u’r? ?n g??d terms with ?th?r?.”That’s ?n? r????n it’s im??rt?nt to ?t?? tru? to your ??nvi?ti?n?; h?w?v?r, there i? a fin? l ine b?tw??n f?ll?wing your convictions ?nd u?ing them ?? an ?x?u?? t? b? ??lf-f??u??d to th? ??int ?f being n? earthly g??d.D?n’t turn down ?v?r? request ?r ????rtunit?.A lot i? g?in?d by ???ing ???. Y?u m??t n?w people, ??u expand your skills, you ?tr?t?h yourself, ?nd ??u giv? your “nice” muscles a g??d w?rk?ut.Al??, if ??m??n? needs h?l?, true help, I think ??u w?nt t? b? th? type ?f ??r??n others kn?w they ??n ??unt ?n.II. S?? No nicely, this w??, ??u w?uldn’t fell ?? guilt?.Think f?r a m?m?nt before giving ??ur ?n?w?r. Y?u n??d to w?igh ??ur ?n?w?r with your ??nvi?ti?n? and ?ri?riti??.Y?u ?l?? d?n’t w?nt to answer so f??t th?t it’? ?bvi?u? th?t n? matter wh?t th? person(s) would ?v?r ??k ??u, ??ur answer would be n?.An?w?ring in a flash will tr?m?l? th?ir ?g? and m?k? it ???m like your n? i? more ?b?ut them ?nd not ?? much ?b?ut th?ir request.While ??u’r? thinking, ??n?id?r your ??nvi?ti?n? and ?ri?riti??, ?nd th?n either ??? ??? or n?.If ??u kn?w wh?t your ?n?w?r i? g?ing to b?, giv? it wh?n ??u’r? asked. D?n’t t?ll them th?t ??u’ll g?t b??k t? them ju?t t? ?ut ?ff saying no.If you’re considering ???ing yes but ??u n??d t? ?h??k ?n ??m?thing fir?t, t?ll th?m th?t ?nd l?t them kn?w wh?n they ??n ?x???t ??ur ?n?w?r.Replying with a firm ?n?w?r within a d?? is the G?ld St?nd?rd.D?n’t wim? out ?nd be v?gu? with your answer t? ?v?id hurting their f??ling?. It raises false h??? f?r th?m, makes you ???m ind??i?iv?, and ?l?w? d?wn th?ir ?r????? of d?t?rmining who is g?ing t? b? h?l?ing.D?n’t ??? thing? th?t ??nd mixed messages lik?, “I b?tt?r n?t, but I want t? b? h?l?ful.”K??? ??ur answers ?h?rt ?nd ?w??t.S??ing n? m?k?? a l?t of us n?rv?u?, ?nd wh?n we’re nervous, w? k??? talking, and talking, ?nd talking. W? ??n’t d? that in thi? ????. It will m?k? it worse.W?’ll dig ?ur own v?rb?l graves ?nd somehow, ??m?w??, w?’ll m?n?g? to ???id?nt?ll? twi?t ?ur n? int? a yes.If ??u ??n give the r??l r????n ??u’r? unable to help (and if it w?n’t hurt th?ir f??ling?), it’? kind t? let them know.Here’s ??ur five-part f?rmul? f?r ???ing n? with?ut th? guilt that ?ll?g?dl? comes with it:St?rt with a ??m?lim?nt if ?n? fit? th? situation.Give your ?n?w?r.Say thank ??u.Encourage th? ??r??n.Ch?ng? th? ?ubj??t or ?x?u?? ??ur??lf (V?r? im??rt?nt).All th? w?? thr?ugh from step ?n? t? fiv? … keep ??ur d?m??n?ur light, and, of ??ur??, smile. A smile says “N? h?rd f??ling?.”A G?n?r?l Example:“Y?u’r? so kind to think ?f m? t? help ?ut with th? fund raising f?r the kid’? ??h??l, Yvonne. Daniel and I ?gr??d th?t w?’r? each only ??mmitting t? ?n? ??tivit? thi? year in ?rd?r to ???nd more tim? with th? kids and ?n our marriage. I’ve already started my new blog. Thank you f?r ??king. I kn?w ??u’ll pull t?g?th?r a gr??t gr?u?. S? h?w ?r? th? kids d?ing th??? d????”H?r?’? ?n Ex?m?l? for When a C?-w?rk?r W?nt? You t? D? S?m?thing:“Y?u w?r? kind t? think ?f me as ??m??n? ??u feel i? a g??d fit to h?l? ??u, Chri?. I’m not able t? now b???u?? th? third ?u?rt?r ?r?j??ti?n reports need my full attention ?nd will for the n?xt f?ur or fiv? days. Th?nk? th?ugh, and I know ??u’ll g?t ?v?r?thing d?n? in g??d ?rd?r. You ?lw??? do. I think w?’r? ?ll f??ling und?r pressure with th? deadlines ?? ?l???.”Here’s an Example f?r Wh?n S?m??n? Drops B? ?nd Y?u’r? Bu?? ?r Ju?t Don’t Want t? Ent?rt?in An??n?:G??d m?nn?r? don’t mean ??u h?v? t? welcome uninvit?d vi?it?r? into ??ur h?m?. Wh?n you g? t? th? door, tr? ???ing something lik?: “H?ll?, K?r?n! I lik? ??ur n??kl???. (Note: Only ??m?lim?nt h?r necklace if ??u trul? like it.) I’m ??rr? I ??n’t invite ??u in n?w. I h?v? ?th?r thing? th?t n??d m? attention. (Note: In thi? ???? the thing th?t n??d? ??ur ?tt?nti?n i? the n?v?l ??u’r? r??ding. You’re ju?t g?tting t? th? ??rt wh?r? ??u find ?ut whi?h of th? twins i? th? “good” ?n? and whi?h ?n? i? the murderer.) If ??u w?nt to giv? me a ??ll t?m?rr?w, we’ll set ??m?thing u?! Th?nk ??u. I really love that n??kl???”H?r?’? ?n Ex?m?l? f?r Wh?n Someone W?nt? Fr?? Advice:“Th?nk? f?r r?m?mb?ring that I’m an ????unt?nt, T?l?r. I d?n’t like to giv? advice outside th? office. I’m in “h?m?” m?d? and might mi??u?t?. I’d b? h???? t? m??t you at m? ?ffi??. H?r?’? m? ??rd. My website h?? m? h?ur?, f???, ?nd a list ?f everything you’ll n??d t? bring with ??u to ?ur first m??ting. Giv? m? a ??ll, and we’ll set u? a tim? that’s convenient f?r ??u.”M?nti?ning that your f??? are ?n your w?b?it? l?t? the person kn?w th?t ??u’r? n?t considering giving fr?? ?dvi??.Th?r?’? m?r? advice for saying no in thi? bl?g ???t: S??ing N? t? Bu?ing Fundraising It?m?.Y?u might notice th?t th?r? are n? ???l?gi?? in any of the ?b?v? ?x?m?l??. Th?t’? because ??u h?v? n? r????n t? ???l?giz?.Y?u didn’t d? ?n?thing wr?ng.III. Wh?t If th? Person W?n’t T?k? ‘No’ f?r ?n An?w?r and tries t? make ??u feel bad?We will ??ll th?m “bullies” b???u?? th?t’? ?x??tl? what th?? are.An??n? wh? d???n’t r?????t ??ur ??? ?r ??ur no to the point wh?r? they thr??t?n, cajole, twist ??ur ?rm, ?r make you f??l guilt? i? a bully.H?r?’? what t? keep in mind and wh?t t? say when someone i? tr?ing t? bully a Yes fr?m y?u:Repeat th? r????n ??u g?v? in th? fir?t ?l??? f?r ???ing n?. Example: “D?ni?l ?nd I ?gr??d th?t w?’r? ?nl? ??mmitting to one ?xtr? activity thi? ???r, ?nd ?ur time i? ?lr??d? ???k?n f?r. I keep m? ?r?mi??? t? m???lf the ??m? w?? I w?uld to ??u. I d? wi?h ??u luck.”Y?u’ll n?ti?? th?t I added the ??rt about k???ing your promises. Th?t ?h?uld throw th?m a v?rb?l fast b?ll that they’re not g?ing to h?v? a pat comeback for.   At thi? point, you can ?ith?r change th? ?ubj??t or ???, “If ??u’ll ?x?u?? m?, Yvonne, I need t? g? g?t….”But if th? r??u??t something you would consider ?t ?n?th?r tim?, t?ll th?m. “A? I ??id, it w?uldn’t b? ????ibl? f?r m? t? give ??u a h?nd for the n?xt f?ur or fiv? d???, but if ??u n??d m ? th?n, I’ll have a f?w h?ur? in th? ?ft?rn??n? th?t I ??n ?ff?r until you’re fini?h?d.”S?m? ?dditi?n?l short ?nd sweet ??mm?nt?:“It wouldn’t b? right f?r me.”“With m? ??h?dul?, I’d b? unreliable, ?nd I w?n’t let myself b? that.”“M? f?mil? w?uld b? disappointed in m? if I t??k ?n another obligation.”“Teach ??ur children/teens t? ??? something ?l?ng th??? lin??: “M? M?m would di? if I did th?t!” ?r “M? parents and I agreed that’s ??m?thing I wouldn’t do”.If you kn?w ?th?r? who might b? th? ??rf??t ??ndid?t? t? do th? f?v?ur ??u’r? h?ving t? decline, ??u ??n mention that.Maybe th?ir children are n?w t? th? ??h??l ?nd th? m?m ?nd dad might ?nj?? meeting ??m? ?f the other ??r?nt?. M??b? th? n?w hir?? would l?v? the chance to ?x??nd th?ir skill ??t?.Or maybe ??u kn?w a mom wh? w?uld lik? to exchange ??m? b?b??itting tim?. If ??, t?ll th??? who are ??king for ??ur h?l? th?t ??u’ll ???? along th? inf?rm?ti?n ?nd h?v? th? others ??nt??t them. (M?k? ?ur? n?t to give ?ut people’s names ?r contact inf?rm?ti?n with?ut ????king t? th?m fir?t.)Y?u might be th? h?rd??t working member ?n th? team, but th?r?’? no need to r?mind ?n??n? about it.Th?t would ??m? off ??unding lik? b???ting ?r ????iv?-?ggr???iv? ??m?l?ining about ?v?r??n? else’s w?rk ?thi?.Just let your yes b? ??? ?nd ??ur n? b? n? wh?n ??k?d t? ?it?h in. And h?l? when you’re ?bl?.Wh?n ??u’r? fini?h?d, ??u’ll be h???? ??u did, b???u?? n? ?n? ??n bring th?t ????i?l spark t? th? ??tivit? lik? you can!If ??u r??ll? w?nt t? ??hi?v? the ‘n?’, here’s how t? do it effectivelyS?? it.  Dont beat ?r?und th? bu?h ?r offer weak ?x?u??? ?r hem ?nd haw. Thi? ?nl? provides ?n ???ning f?r th? ?th?r ??r??n. Dont d?l?? ?r stall ?ith?r. Pr?vid? a bri?f ?x?l?n?ti?n if ??u feel you need t?; however, d?nt feel compelled. Th? l??? ??id the b?tt?r.Be assertive ?nd ??urt??u?.  You might ???, Im ??rr? I ??nt right now but will l?t ??u kn?w when and if I ??n. Thi? approach i? ??lit? , ?nd puts you in a position ?f power b? ?h?nging th? d?n?mi?. Youre t?king ?h?rg?, t?lling people youll let them kn?w wh?n ?nd if you ??n. An?th?r ?x?m?l?, I ???r??i?t? ??ur ??king m? for h?l?, but Im ?tr?t?h?d t?? thin right n?w to devote the time to b? ?f ?u?lit? h?l? t? you.Und?r?t?nd ????l?? t??ti??.  M?n? ????l? ?nd ?rg?niz?ti?n? use manipulation techniques, wh?th?r knowingly ?r n?t. F?r example, think about wh?n ??u g?t a solicitation f?r a donation to a charity and th?r? ?r? forced ??ti?n?: W?uld ??u like t? d?n?t? $10, $20, $30, ?r X ?m?unt? An?th?r tactic: M??t people d?n?t? $20how mu?h w?uld ??u lik? t? d?n?t?? This relies on social ?r???ur?.Set boundaries.  P???l? ??m?tim?? h?v? a h?rd time ???ing no b???u?? th?? havent t?k?n th? time t? ?v?lu?t? their relationships ?nd und?r?t?nd th?ir role within the r?l?ti?n?hi?. When you trul? und?r?t?nd th? d?n?mi? and ??ur r?l?, ??u w?nt f??l ?? w?rri?d about the consequences ?f ???ing n?. Y?ull r??liz? th?t ??ur relationship is so lid ?nd ??n withstand ??ur ???ing n?.Put the ?u??ti?n b??k ?n the ??r??n ??king.  This is highl? effective in a w?rk situation. L?t? ??? a ?u??rvi??r i? ??king you to t?k? ?n ??v?r?l t??k?m?r? th?n you ??n handle. You might ???, Im happy t? d? X, Y, ?nd Z; however, I w?uld need three w??k?, r?th?r th?n tw?, t? d? a g??d job. H?w would ??u lik? me t? ?ri?ritiz? th?m?B? firm.  If ??m??n? cant ?????t ??ur n?, th?n ??u know th? person i? ?r?b?bl? not a tru? fri?nd ?r doesnt r?????t you. Stand firm, ?nd dont feel compelled to giv? in ju?t because that ??r??n i? un??mf?rt?bl?.B? ??lfi?h.  Put ??ur n??d? fir?t. N?t th??? of th? ??r??n asking you f?r ??m?thing. If ??u prioritize th?t ??r??n? n??d? over ??ur?, youll find ??ur productivity will suffer and r???ntm?nt will m?unt. P?rh??? w? can l??rn from W?rr?n Buff?tt, who ??id, Th? difference b?tw??n successful people ?nd very successful ????l? is th?t v?r? ?u?????ful ????l? ??? n? to ?lm??t ?v?r?thing.25 FUNNY W??? T? S?? NO ?ND TH?? ?R? ?F F??TIV? T?? But th?r? ?r? ?t??? t? it. W?’v? already t?lk?d ?b?ut it ?b?v?, but here’s h?w it plays ?ut.St?? One: Prepare ??ur??lf t? ??? “NO.”It i? much easier to ??? no t? an invit?ti?n wh?n we have a concrete r????n for d?ing ??â€"? w?? to justify our r?fu??l beyond th? vague notion th?t w? ?h?uld ?v?id th? ??mmitm?nt in question.This means th?t w? n??d t? ?r??t? th? r????n for saying no b?f?r? we n??d itâ€"w? need a d??i?i?n m?king ?tru?tur?, ?r “rules” t? guid? u? ?? that w? don’t h?v? t? agonize ?v?r every invitation.F?r ?x?m?l?, ?n? rule I have f?r m???lf is th?t I don’t go ?ut m?r? th?n two night? in a giv?n w??k, because I kn?w th?t wh?n I do thi?, I ??n’t meet u? with m? writing d??dlin?? and when I d?n’t m??t u?, I h?v? to apologize ?nd wh?n d? that, I g?t r??ll? ?r?nk?, ?nn???d, ?nd run d?wn.S? if ??m??n? ??k? m? ?b?ut a third evening one week, I have th? structure I n??d to t?ll th?m I’m n?t ?v?il?bl? (but th?nk ??u f?r asking!).St?? Two: S?? ‘NO ’It i? in?r?dibl? h?l?ful t? h?v? go-to w??? t? ju?t ??? n?. I u?? the “I’m ?lr??d? booked” strategy, b???u?? th?t is most ?ft?n th? r????n I can’t d? ??m?thing. H?r? are ??m? ?th?r 25 funn? tactics t? say NOV?gu? but ?ff??tiv?: “Th?nk ??u f?r ??king, but that i?n’t g?ing to work out f?r me.” Thi? i? v?gu?, but v?r? ?ff??tiv?. It m??t ?ft?n leaves th? person ?tunn?d. It? ?ui?t funn?, but only t? you.Firm ?nd d??i?iv? “l?t’? n?t do th?t”: L?t’? n?t d? th?t now. I’m ju?t n?t in th? m??d.It’? not ??r??n?l: “Thank ??u for asking, but I’m n?t d?ing any interviews while I’m writing my b??k.”It? r??ll? n?ting ??r??n?l.A?k me l?t?r: “I want to d? th?t, but I’m n?t ?v?il?bl? until April. Will ??u ??k m? again then?” I am ?ur? I’ll be ?bl? t? ?queeze out tim? f?r you.L?t m? h??k you u?: “I can’t d? it, but I’ll b?t Sh?ll? ??n. I’ll ask h?r f?r you.” Thi? you r??ll? being ni??, especially when ??u are ?r?tt? ?ur? Sh?ll? w?uldn’t b? up for it.K??? trying: “None ?f th??? d?t?? w?rk f?r me, but I w?uld l?v? t? see ??u. S?nd m? some more dates.”Tr? me l??t minut?: “I can’t ?ut anything ?l?? ?n m? ??l?nd?r thi? m?nth, but I’d l?v? t? d? that with ??u ??m?tim?. Will ??u call me right before ??u g? ?g?in?” m??b? I’ll be fr?? th?n. Th?nk? for understandingGr?titud?: “Th?nk ??u ?? much for ??ur enthusiasm and ?u???rt! I’m ??rr? I’m not ?bl? t? help you at thi? tim?.”It? ju?t b?d timing but th?nk you.Give D?d a ?h?n??: “You know, I f??l lik? m?m? ?r? ?lw??? g?tting t? do the holiday ??rti?? at school. Let’s ??k D?d if h? wants t? help this ???r.”No ??n d?: sorry br?, but n? can d?. M??b? wh?n I’m l??? bu??.5-minut? favour: “I can’t ????k at ??ur ?v?nt, but I will help ??u ?r?m?t? it on m? bl?g.”Just N?: “Th?nk?, I’ll have t? ???? ?n th?t.” (Say it, then ?hut up.)Gr??i?u?: “I r??ll? appreciate you ??king me, but m? tim? is ?lr??d? committed.”I’m S?rr?: “I wish I could, but it†™s just n?t g?ing to w?rk right now.”It’s S?m??n? El??’? Decision: “I ?r?mi??d m? ????h (th?r??i?t, hu?b?nd, etc.) I w?uldn’t t?k? ?n ?n? more projects right n?w. I’m working on creating more balance in m? lif?.” I know ??u und?r?t?nd wh?t I m??n. Gl?d ??u und?r?t?ndM? F?mil? i? th? R????n: “Th?nk? ?? mu?h for th? invit?, th?t’? th? d?? ?f my ??n’? ?????r g?m?, ?nd I n?v?r miss th???.” M??b? n?xt tim?.I Kn?w Someone El??: “I just don’t h?v? tim? right now. Let m? recommend someone wh? m?? b? able to h?l? you.”I’m Already Booked: “I ???r??i?t? ??u thinking of m?, but I’m afraid I’m ?lr??d? b??k?d th?t d??.”S?tting Boundaries: “Let m? t?ll you what I ??n d?…” Then limit the ??mmitm?nt to wh?t will be ??mf?rt?bl? for you.Not N?, But Not Y??: my ?ll tim? favourite. “L?t m? think ?b?ut it, ?nd I’ll g?t b??k t? ??u.Say n?thing: “N?t all r??u??t? r??uir? ?n ?n?w?r. It feels rud? t? ign?r? a r??u??t, but sometimes it’? th? best w?? f?r eve ryone to ??v? f??? and time.” Ex?m?l?, “h?? J?hn, h??? ??u w?uld ?tt?nd my ??rt? tonight”. J?hn: *l?ugh?* and ???? noting.Let it all h?ng ?ut: “R???ntl? my daughter g?t injur?d in g?m class. It was a week ?f vi?it? t? th? ER, the ??n?u??i?n ?lini?, specialists, ?t?. I ??nt m?k? it t? your ??rt? but ill b? gl?d if ??u ??m? h?ng ?t the h???it?l with m?”. I’m pretty ?ur? th?? are g?ing t? m?k? u? excuses as ?t to wh? th?? ??n n?t. Th?? w?uld also r??u??t less fr?m ??u.I’m “maxed ?ut”: “W? n??d a ‘??f?t? word’ for ???ing n?â€"?n ???? way t? t?ll ????l? th?t w? ??n’t ?r won’t d? the thing they ?r? r??u??ting, but th?t it’? n?t personal. Just say you ?r? m?x?d out and ?ll?w them g?t th? gi?t.Wh?, H?v?n? NO: this way should b? funn? too. I’m sure the ??r??n didn’t ??? it ??ming. In f??t, it w?uld ??m? ?? a ?h??k, th?? w?uldn’t ask ?g?in.I can’t ?n? more, I h?d m? ?tu?idit? ?m?ut?t?d l??t w??k: this could ??m? off ?? rude but still a bit funny t? you an yways. Ju?t ??u.St?? 3: Don’t look b??kPlenty ?f research ?ugg??t? th?t when we m?k? a decision in a w?? that ?ll?w? us to ?h?ng? our mind? l?t?r, we t?nd to be a l?t l??? happy with th? decisions th?t w? m?k?.S? ?n?? we d??lin? an invitation, w? n??d t? make ?n ?ff?rt to focus ?n th? good th?t will ??m? fr?m ???ing n?, n?t th? regret ?r guilt w? feel about turning d?wn an ?ff?r.Perhaps w? will b? better rested because w? didn’t g? to a party, ?r w?’ll f??l less resentful because we l?t ??m??n? ?l?? h?l? out.M??b? saying no to one thing frees u? tim? f?r another (more j??ful) activity. Whatever th? ???? m?? be, f??u? on the ???itiv? outcome ?f ??ur effort t? giv? g??d n?.Because th?t i? what ?ll thi? ???ing n? i? really about: All?wing ?ur??lv?? t? really ?nj?? wh?t we ?r? doing in th? moment, wh?t?v?r th?t might be.S?M? ?R??TI??L ?X?M?L?? ?F HOW ?ND WH? IT IS IM??RT?NT T? ??? NOa) S??ing N? f?r th? Sake ?f Your W?ll?tR??u??t: A fri?nd in need asks f?r a Trump-worthy loan.Wh?t you ?h?uld say: I wi?h I ??uld, but as a rul?, I d?nt l?nd m?n?? t? fri?nd?.Wh? it w?rk?: Its ?l??r th?t ??u are n?t ?ingling ?ut thi? ??r??n ?? untru?tw?rth?.Wh? ??u ?h?uldnt f??l guilt?: Lending ?n? amount ?f m?n?? can ??u?? ?r?bl?m?, says communications tr?in?r D?n G?b?r. It can change the n?tur? ?f your r?l?ti?n?hi? if the person d???nt ??? ??u b??k.H?w t? ?v?id th? ?itu?ti?n in th? futur?: N?v?r l?nd m?n?? t? fri?nd? ?nd ??u w?nt g?t a reputation as a w?lking, br??thing ATM.R??u??t: A ??-w?rk?r w?nt? ??u t? ?hi? in $25 for a gift for a colleague ??u w?uldnt r???gniz? at the w?t?r ???l?r.Wh?t ??u ?h?uld ???: Oh, Iv? n?v?r r??ll? h?d a conversation with S?m. I think Ill just wi?h him a h???? birthd?? in person.Why it works: Ch?n??? ?r?, th? ??r??n t?king d?n?ti?n? h?? n? id?? how close ??u are (?r ?r? n?t) with the intended r??i?i?nt. B? clarifying th? n?tur? ?f ??ur r?l?ti?n?hi???nd emphasizing your int?nti?n to get t? know th? person b?tt?r???u ??m? ??r??? ?? th?ughtful r?th?r than ?h???.Wh? you ?h?uldnt f??l guilty: A gift isnt a gift if it? ?n ?blig?ti?n, ??? ?ti?u?tt? writers Kim Izz? ?nd C?ri M?r?h.How t? ?v?id the situation in th? futur?: If workplace gift giving i? getting ?ut of hand, t?k? th? lead in r??t?ring sanity b? circulating a ??rd before someone can break ?ut th? gift-d?n?ti?n ?l?t?. M?k? ?ur? others kn?w you d?nt expect ?n?thing on ??ur birthday.R??u??t: Y?ur third ??u?in asks to bring h?r boyfriend-of-the-month to ??ur $150-a-plate w?dding r????ti?n.Wh?t you should ???: W?v? ?lr??d? h?d t? make ?? many t?ugh d??i?i?n? to g?t th? gu??t li?t down t? size. We r??ll? cant squeeze in/?ff?rd another gu??t. But I w?uld love to h?v? ??u two ?v?r for drink? sometime ?? I ??n m??t him.Wh? it works: If ??u illuminate ??m? ?f your b?hind-th?-???n?? planning, your ??u?in m?? g?t a ?lu? ?b?ut th? in???r??ri?t?n??? of the r??u??t.Wh? ??u ?h?uldnt f??l guilt?: Its ??ur ??rt? and ??ur ???k?tb??k, says ?uth?r P?tti Br?itm?n.How t? avoid th? ?itu?ti?n in th? futur?: M?k? a f?w calls b?f?r? ??u put together the guest li?t t? see if th?r? ?r? n?w ?dditi?n? ??u should ??n?id?r as ??u ?l?n.b) Saying No f?r the S?k? ?f Y?ur TimeR??u??t: You ?r? ?ff?r?d a promotion th?t you d?nt want. Even th?ugh it m??n? more m?n??, it d?m?nd? m?r? h?ur? ?nd more ?f wh?t your boss ??ll? responsibility and you ??ll t?dium.What you ?h?uld say: Im fl?tt?r?d th?t you w?nt me, but f?r personal reasons Im n?t in a ?itu?ti?n where I ??n t?k? this ?n. P?rh??? in a ???r fr?m now thing? will be diff?r?nt. C?n we t?lk ?g?in if my circumstances change?Wh? it works: If youre ??ught in thi? enviable dil?mm?, your boss will und?r?t?nd ??u have ??r??n?l priorities that take precedence.Wh? ??u ?h?uldnt f??l guilt?: B? ???ing no to m?r? tim? ?t the office, ??ur? ???ing ??? t? ?th?r thing? ??u ?h?ri?h, b? th?? l?ng w?lk? ?l?n? ?t ?un??t or evening time with ??ur ?hildr?n.H?w t? ?v?id th? ?itu?ti?n in the future: If a ???iti?n ???n? up ?t ??ur w?rk?l???, ??u ??uld l?t it be kn?wn th?t you are n?t in the running, Breitman ?ugg??t?. B?ing forthright ??v?? your m?n?g?r the trouble ?f ?ur?uing a ??ndid?t? wh? i?nt int?r??t?d.Request: You ?r? ??k?d to ???rdin?t? th? b?k? sale?again?at your ?hild? school.Wh?t you ?h?uld ???: I know Im g?ing to disappoint you, but Iv? d??id?d n?t t? volunteer this ???r, b???u?? I f??r Ill end u? f??ling resentful. I? there any w?? to g?t some ?f th? ?th?r parents t? step up?Wh? it works: Oft?n ????l? f??l manipulated into d?ing ??m?thing (Th? i?? ?r??m social ju?t w?nt h????n with?ut your h?l?!). If ??u ??n ?ddr??? th? problematic ??tt?rn ?f ?n? ??r??n? doing ?ll th? work, ??u ?id??t?? th? manipulation. And if ??u ??? n?, it might f?r?? ?th?r? (wh? n?v?r g?t asked) to ??? ???.Wh? you ?h?uldnt feel guilty: Youve done your fair ?h?r?, and n?w ?th?r? ??n do thi? j?b, says R?bin??n.H?w t? ?v?id the situation in the futur?: En??ur?g? school l??d?r? t? ?r???nt th? problem t? ?ll th? ??r?nt?, ???? Robinson. If people kn?w an im??rt ?nt program m?? f?il, theyll u?u?ll? remedy the situation.R??u??t: Y?ur? invited to a distant r?l?tiv?? ?nnu?l L?b?t?r Lu?u?f?r the 14th ???r in a row.Wh?t you ?h?uld say: Iv? really h?d fun in the ???t, but I ??nt make it this year. Th?t w??k i? ?lr??d? ???k?d f?r m?.Why it works: Y?uv? ?x?l?in?d it in a w?? that d???nt sound lik? a ??r??n?l r?j??ti?n, ???? R?bin??n. And ??uv? ??k?d f?r und?r?t?nding, based ?n ??ur n??d t? t?k? ?tr??? out of your ??h?dul?. Ev?r??n? ??n id?ntif? with th?t.Wh? ??u ?h?uldnt f??l guilt?: You h?v? only ?? mu?h free tim???nd ?? mu?h t?l?r?n?? f?r fl?ing lobster g??. D?nt R.S.V.P. ???, then b??k out at the l??t minut? ?r, w?r??, not ?h?w up at ?ll, ??? Izz? ?nd M?r?h. That i? th? l???t d???r?u? way of handling th? invit?.H?w t? ?v?id the situation in the futur?: In a n?t?, th?nk th? r?l?tiv? f?r thinking ?f ??u ?nd explain that b???u?? ??u t?nd t? be bu?? ?t this tim? of ???r, h? ?h?uld f??l fr?? t? t?k? ??u ?ff hi? invit? list.R??u??t: Y?ur b??? asks ??u t? supervise thi? ?????n? int?rn?l??t ???n with her feet u? on a desk, iP?d ?n, Gameboy in h?nd.What ??u ?h?uld ???: Wow, th?t? an interesting ?r?j??t. Im r??ll? busy with the ABC ???ignm?nt right now, so l?t m? kn?w if ??u want m? to r?-?ri?ritiz?.Wh? it w?rk?: A?king ??ur b??? t? ?ri?ritiz? t??k? f?r ??u m??n? you d?nt have t? actually say th? n? word, Breitman ????. If ?h? tells ??u to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But k??? a list ?f ?ll th? ?xtr? w?rk ??uv? d?n??f?r ??ur n?xt r?vi?w.Why you shouldnt feel guilt?: You r??ll? do h?v? ?n?ugh w?rk to d? ?? it i?.H?w to avoid th? ?itu?ti?n in th? future: If ?xtr? t??k? k??? g?tting dum??d ?n your d??k, ??k your b??? for a m??ting. Ex?l?in that the ?dd?d ???ignm?nt? ?r? m?king it h?rd t? do ??ur ?rim?r? job properly. A?k if she w?nt? t? review ??ur job d???ri?ti?n (?nd r?n?g?ti?t? ??ur ??l?r? whil? ?h?? at it).c) S??ing No f?r th? S?k? ?f Your SanityR??u??t: A friend ??k? t? b?rr?w ??ur ??r (because hers i? in the ?h?? to r???ir th? d?nt ?h? g?t whil? driving, t?lking ?n h?r ??ll phone, ?nd unwr???ing her kids juice-box ?tr?w).What ??u ?h?uld ???: I d?nt l?nd anything worth m?r? th?n $1,000. Tr? to avoid the old I d?nt have insurance for a n?n-f?mil? member excuse?most in?ur?n?? ??li?i?? ??v?r th? ??r, n?t specific driv?r?. (If your friend g?t int? ?n ???id?nt, it ??uld m?k? ??ur premium go u?, though.) If ??u h?v? tim?, offer h?r a ride instead.Why it w?rk?: It ?ut? the blame ?n you, ?x?l?in? ?uth?r P?tti Breitman. Ju?t d?nt indicate you d?nt tru?t the friend.Wh? ??u shouldnt f??l guilty: Y?ur ??r is probably the fir?t ?r second m??t v?lu?bl? thing you ?wn, says Br?itm?n. Y?ur? ?r?t??ting a big fin?n?i?l ????t. Plu?, if ??ur fri?nd were t? get into ?n ???id?nt, ??ur r?l?ti?n?hi? might be t?t?ll?d, too.H?w to avoid th? ?itu?ti?n in the futur?: Let ??ur friends kn?w th?t while youre typically a generous lender (Of ??ur?? ??u can borrow m? ?n?rk?lling g??r!), ??ur ??r is ?ff-limit?.R??u??t: A guest ?ff ?r? t? bring h?r seven-layer di? to your ??rt?. It doesn’t really g? with th? Gr??k th?m? you h?v? ?l?nn?d.Wh?t you ?h?uld say: Wh?t a kind ?ff?r?th?nk ??u. I h?v? already ?l?nn?d th? m?nu, but do ??u have any di?t?r? restrictions I ?h?uld kn?w ?b?ut? If ?h?? ju?t ??king t? b? ni?? ?nd in?i?t? ?n bringing ??m?thing, ?ugg??t a bottle ?f wine ?r a loaf ?f br??d.Wh? it works: By ??kn?wl?dging th? g?n?r??it? ?f th? offer, ??u let th?t person kn?w she did all ?h? could. Of course, if th? ??r??n has dietary r??tri?ti?n? th?t m?k? ???king difficult for ??u, relent ?nd let h?r bring a di?h ?h? can ??t.Why you ?h?uldnt f??l guilt?: Th? person is m??t likely ?ff?ring just t? be courteous. B? ???ing no, you giv? h?r li??n?? t? r?l?x ?nd ?nj?? ??ur h???it?lit?.How t? avoid the situation in the futur?: When ??u invit? ????l?, ??k if there i? anything th?? d?n’t ??t, b???u?? you w?nt to make ?ur? your m?nu w?rk? f?r ?v?r??n?. Emphasize the word menu, so ????l? kn?w that ??u h?v? a ?l?n ?r a t heme f?r th? meal (?nd ?? th?? won’t tr? t? u???t it).Request: Y?ur futur? ?i?t?r-in-l?w wants t? throw ??u a ?h?w?r, but ??u don’t w?nt th? fu??.Wh?t you should say: I r??ll? d?nt want a ??rt?, but thank ??u ?? much f?r ?ff?ring. Why dont we ??lurg? ?n a visit to a d?? ??? in?t??d?Wh? it works: Not everyone lik?? a ??rt? in h?r h?n?ur ?r w?nt? to be th? centre ?f ?tt?nti?n with a ????r plate ?f bows ?n h?r head, say etiquette writ?r? Kim Izz? ?nd Ceri M?r?h. Unless ?h? h?? her ?wn agenda, ?h? ?h?uld und?r?t?nd.Wh? you shouldnt f??l guilt?: If ??u d??lin?, you ?r? t?king ?w?? ??m? pleasure fr?m the ????l? wh? ??r? ?b?ut ??u, but it i? your ?????i?n to ?h?ut ?b?ut ?r b? ?ui?t ?b?ut, ??? Izz? ?nd M?r?h.H?w t? ?v?id th? ?itu?ti?n in th? future: Ann?un?? what you w?uld ?r?f?r t? d? instead of a ?h?w?r b?f?r? anyone ?ff?r? t? throw ?n?.